I was watching my unwitting food guru last night. It was the Popcorn Episode. I know I've seen it before, but somehow I've missed this every time Food Network has re-run the episode. The dish? Popcorn for breakfast. Now, I've been a college student, and I do recall eating plenty of inappropriate things for breakfast - pizza, old chicken wings, wine. And nothing was ever so wonderful, as a child, as waking up in my grandmother's house and sneaking some of the leftover popcorn from the previous night. (This is probably why she always kept a little bit back. She knew me well!) But my guru, he did something with popcorn that I've never seen done and that I never want to see done again. He poured milk over it, added sugar and ate it with a spoon.
Now according to the episode, popcorn used to be considered a breakfast cereal, which is what prompted this little glimpse of culinary Hell. And it isn't particularly Fearless of me to sit here and skeeve at the idea, either. I've eaten quite a few foods that most people would find more repulsive than soggy popcorn. After all, milk is just dairy, and butter is dairy, so it's not inconceivable, right? Adding sugar shouldn't be the end of the world. After all, what else is the caramel in caramel corn? It's not my favorite thing in the world, but I've eaten worse.
I think that what's getting me isn't the timing, or the ingredients, but the texture. The idea of soggy popcorn is repugnant, whether the sogginess be caused by milk, water, or beer. Popcorn is CRUNCHY. It makes a wonderful, satisfying sound when consumed. It does not go "splat" when dropped on the floor for the dog. It does not ooze out of a (shudder) spoon.
Perhaps AB is more Fearless than I. Perhaps I should head into the kitchen, grab a pot, cook myself up some popcorn and dump milk all over it. I wonder how it goes with soy milk? I doubt it would make it that far, though. It's just too good crunchy!